I was very glad of the hour or so Christine spent with us a few days before the Game to make sure especially that our intentions were clear and aligned to the spirit and process of the Game.

In that session Christine fed something back to me in her own words and I had a moment of absolute knowing that that was the essence of my intention. I am sure that gave power to the Game and its ongoing work in my life.

Christine’s manner is gentle and kind, balanced with qualities of firmness and straighforwardness. With a light touch she holds the Game in great respect.

I am continuing to work with what came through the Game for me, and the Divine Spirit in which the Game of Transformation is founded is taking my intention utterly seriously and ensuring that I am indeed ‘seen and heard in the fullness of my being’, with all the delights and challenges that brings!

Thank you.
Margie McCallum

joyful living and fearless dying
www.margiemccallum.com

Start sending radiances to the group known as the Arizona group. As the love flows, it will unite you with this group. Get a globe and start marking the centers on it. You are part of a tremendous network and each member is closely linked…. This is a network of light; therefore each should be linked with the others…. Learn to feel the intertwining and intermingling of each center…. The strength comes through the linking up (and uniting) of the centers.

~ Eileen Caddy, Flight into Freedom and Beyond

These words, penned more than a half century ago, presaged the creation of the Findhorn Community. Mrs. Caddy described this message as a direct transmission from spirit. Two years later, in 1962, Findhorn was founded on a sandy bit of an old Royal Air Force base, next to a toxic waste dump. Now, 50 years on, Findhorn is a verdant and thriving community of hundreds of people hosting thousands of pilgrims each year from around the world. As Christine Lines, my friend who lives there, put it, “Findhorn is a University of the Soul”.

Recently, I spent a week with Christine at the Centers Gathering, an annual conference of activists and administrators representing holistic education centers. I was there with Tom Robinson, representing Breitenbush. This year, the meeting was hosted by Harbin Hot Springs, a center in California. Centers represented included Esalen, the New York Open Center, Kalani Honua, Institute of Noetic Sciences, Spirit Rock and many others. In the more than 25 years since the Centers Gathering has been meeting, it has convened at centers across the US, Canada, Western and Eastern Europe, and Russia.

The idea of a holistic education center functioning as a university of the soul, linking individual awareness to evolutionary collective consciousness via a planetary network of light … now, that is a real stretch for a mind conditioned to expect what passes for “normal” in contemporary, loosely consensus-based relative reality. Which is pretty much all our minds. Most of us are way too busy consuming media and paying the bills to pay much attention to such ultimate possibilities of human potential. But the question that occurs to me is, was Eileen sort of nuts? Or was she onto something?

I think she was onto something. There IS something to this je ne sais quoi of the evolution of consciousness, linking the individual to the planetary. The mystics have explored it for millennia, now scientists corroborate it with double-blind data. And too, there is the direct experience people have when they visit these holistic centers.

I have a friend, a professor at a nearby university. He waxes transcendent as he describes the difference between his experience at the ‘university of the mind’ where he works, and the ‘university of the soul’ he encounters at centers like Breitenbush, Findhorn, Esalen, and others. In the former he experiences market-driven mediocrity and ego-driven determiners of relevance. At the latter he takes refuge from all that, and experiences direct, unmediated exposure to the pure elements and his own consciousness through love. My friend’s experience is a useful reference point to understand Eileen Caddy’s messages from spirit of five decades ago.

Since then, numerous centers have come into being worldwide. Next year, 2012, will be the 50th anniversary for the two most well-known of these, Findhorn and Esalen. Appropriately, the next Centers Gathering will be hosted at Findhorn, during its 50th celebration year.

Consider this: Our past is not our potential. In any hour, we can liberate the future. We can re-choose, to awaken, to leave the prison of our conditioning, to love, to turn homeward, to conspire with and for one another. Awakening brings its own assignments, unique to each of us, chosen by each of us. Whatever you might have thought about yourself and however long you may have thought it, you are NOT just you. You are a seed, a silent promise. You are part of the conspiracy!

~ Marilyn Ferguson, The Aquarian Conspiracy

I take issue with Ms. Ferguson on one point here. What we are up to is not a conspiracy at all. We are not conspiring, we are inspiring … each other, ourselves, future generations. Not a conspiracy, but an INSPIRACY. If you can grok that, then consider taking a moment out of your day and try Eileen’s experiment: Send the radiance of your love out to link up with others as an intentional evolutionary act through a network of light.

PS: Here’s an invitation;

If you’re involved in a Holistic Center and interested in attending the next Centers Gathering at Findhorn, on May 12-17, 2012, please click here for more details.

The board game is divided into four quarters, with a life path for each player. Each player lands on different life squares based on the digits of the die or the draw of Insight or Setback cards. Landing possibilities include; Angels, Appreciations, Blessings, Depressions, Miracles, Service and more.

I played the Game with two dear friends here in the Foundation, as part of my preparation for the two week Facilitator’s Training in October, and we were all touched by the insights and synchronicities that were reflected back to each player as the Game unfolded. I felt my connection with this fascinating tool deepen and the vast possibilities of sharing it with people in other communities.

We began by exploring and refining each player’s ‘playing purpose’ until each one became clear enough to create the foundation for their individual experience of the Game. The dynamics of play encourage intuition and interaction and lessons are revealed as players share from personal experience to ground the meaning of the life square they land on.

Being in the role of guide rather than player was a great opportunity for me to explore the guidelines for the Game, the different life squares and how to play them. I remember one member in the community saying once that, “we learn by doing” and this feels so true, when I’m willing to step beyond my edge of familiarity, into the unknown, subtle growth takes place.

I felt safe stepping into the role with friends I trusted and at ease leading the meditations that form an integral aspect of the Game and help access our inner wisdom. With my deep belief in the power of pilgrimage, play became an intensified one day version of life’s journey for each person. I felt inspired by how the Game can help clarify and shed light on personal issues and highlight individual gifts and contributions.

It was an unexpected joy to play with a couple who have been in partnership for many years and witness their paths and purpose reflect and support each other with great synergy. I felt the powerful presence of the ‘Game Deva’, the overlighting energy of the Game, and the Angels, or qualities, that joined our little trio. The messages of the Game were so clear and consistent that each player was able to more fully embrace the reality that already in so many ways they live from their core essence and share the gift of their presence with the world.

Awareness tokens came in abundance and in such wonderful pairings, laughter and merriment or initiative and intimacy, that there was no doubt of the playful presence of the Game Deva. The ‘overview’ and ‘completion’ of play were integral aspects of the overall Game that helped create a bridge to the onward journey.

At the end of the day we were tired, inspired and full of joy, with a deeper connection between each other and ourselves, a deeper understanding of our challenges and conditioning, and a profound sense of gratitude for the infinite opportunities of life.

If you’re interested in playing, please contact me for more details.

Living here in the community of the Findhorn Foundation, I’m often faced with the question can I keep my heart open, even in difficult circumstances? Life here, just as along the Camino or anywhere, is full of joys and challenges and it sometimes feels an intense way of living, sharing in such closeness with others, especially when conflict arises.

I recognise how sensitive I am when communication is less than clear and harmonious and feel a deep pain within. I wonder how to deal with issues of conflict, however small, and value the reminder of the Common Ground, the values we agree to live by as members of the Community. Personal responsibility and integrity are included in the list of 14 points and I need to turn within and learn from each experience and interaction, to begin right here.

As an ‘apprentice’ co-worker in the Foundation, within the ‘Living Education Apprentice Program’ (LEAP) I can more fully than before embrace the idea of Findhorn as a ‘mystery school.’ LEAP feels to me like a ‘rite of passage’ teaching me exactly what I need to learn, however dark or uncomfortable it feels sometimes, for me someone so attached to the light. I’m learning to embrace all aspects of this sometimes imperfect yet ‘perfectly imperfect’ place and each perfectly imperfect person, including myself, being reminded to love what is, to laugh, and balance speaking up and letting go.

Through my work in the garden I’m beginning to blend the ‘first rule of permaculture’, observation, observation, observation, closely followed by listening and learning, with the practice of mindfulness in everyday life. One of my challenges in this lifetime is the art of communication, being clear, expressive and in connection with myself. Conflict, which I always prefer to avoid, is revealing itself as a learning ground, through which I can refine my communication and keep opening the heart.

On my recent visit to the States, to attend the International Holistic Centre’s Gathering, the two questions people most often asked about community life were; how does Findhorn deal with conflict and how does it make decisions? I’m beginning to recognise that my own personal journey with conflict can potentially be a gift, enabling me to share from experience.

The practice of both meditation and attunement contribute to the decision making process in the community and also help minimise conflict. I’d love to say the Foundation is all love and light, and there is much I love about being here, at the moment and I know this will change, I can feel the shadows too, I guess these are the shadows within myself.

I felt drawn to Findhorn twelve months ago, feeling it was the place where I could most learn and contribute. Being here I sometimes describe the place as the ‘University of the Soul.’ The Camino was a facinating journey, one of movement and change, the Community is a fascinating journey, one more of stillness and change, of sitting in the fire, remembering it’s the same flame of the candle light.

There’s a constant balance between the work that needs to be done, sharing the experience in a loving way with the guests who volunteer in the garden and embodying the spirit of Findhorn.

The community is based on three founding principle; turning within to listen to our inner guidance, work being an expression of love in action and co-creating with the wisdom of nature.

There’s a little book called, “Opening Doors Within,” by one of the three co-founders, Eileen Caddy, which contains 365 daily meditations from Findhorn. Inside I continually discover messages that deepen my insights from the Camino.

On the theme of Letting Go, by Eileen Caddy;

“Once you have taken a step forward in faith, never look backwards or start regretting what you have left behind. Simply expect the most wonderful future and see it come about. Leave the old behind, it is finished. Be grateful for the lessons you have learnt and for the experiences you have had, which have all helped you to grow and have given you a deeper understanding…Let go, release the past and move forward with your heart filled with love and gratitude.”

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I remember flying from Stansted in the UK to Biarritz in France and recognising other travellers as fellow pilgrims. Each one dressed in walking gear and hiking boots, collecting a full backpack from the baggage carousel, the slight look of apprehension was a clear giveaway.

The bus journey from the airport to Bayonne Station gave me a rusty opportunity to practice schoolgirl French. On arrival, I purchased a train ticket for the onward journey to St. Jean Pied du Port and a cheese baguette for dinner. A few hours later, sitting opposite pilgrim passengers in the carriage, smiles of acknowledgment combined with the shyness of new friends.

Pilgrim or Sheep?

Disembarking from the train into the tiny town of St. Jean I looked habitually around for transport and then thought to myself, ‘You’re a pilgrim now. It’s time to walk!’ I commenced up the slight hill, following the other pilgrims like a loyal sheep and arrived at the wall of the town. Left or right I wondered? It was time to tune into my inner compass and I cautiously strolled left.

Reaching the Pilgrim’s Office a few hundred metres later, I signed the register and received my Credencial in return – the Pilgrim’s Passport that entitled me to stay in Pilgrim’s accommodation along the way. There were blank pages ready to be stamped at each night’s stop as a record of my journey to Santiago de Compostella. I chose a scallop shell from the basket, the ancient symbol of the Camino, tied it to my pack and stepped back into the cobbled street, now initiated into the walk.

Four Legged Friend

The Albergue or ‘refuge’ I had planned to stay at was already full and I found an available bed at a place nearby. I was surprised to see a large dog tied up to the bunk bed below my allocation. The dog was making unsettling noises as I started to unpack and I contemplated the night ahead… Animal whimpering through the night keeping me awake, when I needed to have a good nights rest in preparation for an early start on the first day of my walk.

The landlady was unimpressed when ten minutes after checking into the refuge I decided to check out. She graciously returned my euro’s, ‘Didn’t I realise it was basic accommodation along the way? What do you expect?’ I imagined her saying – the translation more through feeling than literal understanding. ‘Yes basic is fine,’ I replied silently to myself, ‘I just didn’t expect four legged pilgrims as well, especially ones that sound more nervous than I am about crossing the Pyrenees and walking from one side of Spain to the other.’

I returned to the Pilgrim’s Office and realised it was now so late in the day that accommodation options were limited. There was room in a car with a mother and daughter trio from Canada and so I found myself slightly out of town, blowing the budget on the first night in a homely place offering dinner, bed and breakfast and sharing a comfortable twin room.

Reasons for Walking

The homemade meal of pate, paella and port was a stylish way to commence the Camino and I appreciated the luxury of a hot shower and a canine free space to sleep. During dinner, one of the daughters asked why I was travelling alone and I responded with surprise to the question, ‘Why not?’ At that stage in my life it felt like the most natural choice in the world. It was ultimately a journey within myself, a healing journey, an adventure of the spirit.

I discovered later on that the mother had always wanted to walk the Camino with her husband. He had recently passed away unexpectedly and the daughters suggested they walk together instead. At times when we crossed paths during the walk I could feel her grief and loneliness. I felt touched by the family walking together in mutual support, planning to meet up with the third daughter and grandson further into the journey. I connected with a deep sense of gratitude that my Camino was about to begin and that it felt like the perfect time in my life to undertake the journey.

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This year’s annual Gathering was held recently at Harbin Hot Springs, a retreat and workshop centre and residential community in California. It was a joy to attend and experience how the very mention of Findhorn inspires people, many of whom dream of making the pilgrimage here one day.

The five days were full of fascinating discussions and presentations, structured in a fun and informal way, interspersed with outings to explore the surrounding area and invitations to engage in community life. Warm friendships evolved amongst peers, with a shared passion for awakening consciousness and mutual enthusiasm to learn from and support each other in the joys and challenges of our work.

Other participants came from a range of centres including; Esalen Institute, Mount Madonna Center, Breitenbush Hot Springs, The Haven, New York Open Center, Spirit Rock, Kalani Oceanside Retreat and Maui Eco Retreat. Through sharing intentions, experience, ideas and insights there was a real sense of unity in our diversity.

During the Gathering, I felt moved to read to the group an excerpt from Eileen Caddy’s autobiography, Flight into Freedom and Beyond;

“Get a globe and start marking the centres on it. You are part of a tremendous network and each member is closely linked. Each needs to feel part of the whole. This is a network of light; therefore each should be linked with the others. Learn to feel the intertwining and intermingling of each centre until not one is left on its own. The strength comes through the linking up of the centres.”

There was a palpable feeling of gratitude for the Gathering, initiated by Ralph White, a member of the Findhorn Foundation in the 1970s, in providing this opportunity to link up with each other.

Ralph went on to be involved in the early years of the Omega Institute, before co-founding the New York Open Center. The first Gathering was held in the mid 1980s and included Esalen, Omega and the Open Center. Over the years it has become a global movement hosted by a different centre each year, all sharing similar intentions.

The Findhorn Foundation has been helping to unfold a new human consciousness and create a sustainable future since 1962 and Ralph explains the complementary role of the Gathering, “For 25 years it has been serving as a principal meeting point for centres, both well established and new, that address the new consciousness currently emerging worldwide.”

I read about this meeting point in 2010 and embraced the opportunity to “Learn and grow from participating in sessions on sustainability, connecting to the world-community, continued personal transformation, sharing what works and what doesn’t, and holding space for a world in need of change and growth.”

In my then role as Retreats Manager of the Byron Yoga Centre in Australia, I felt drawn to attend the Gathering, hosted by Kalani Oceanside Retreat in Hawaii. There was a sense of trust in the friends I would meet, connected by our life purpose, and I instinctively booked my place. Meeting Ralph and listening to him share about Findhorn, I felt a yearning to continue my journey there beyond Experience Week the previous year, and further inspired by hearing about the community life of participants in other centres.

After the Gathering in Hawaii, I visited my family in the UK and days later woke up with the words, “Findhorn Life Purpose” on my mind. I went online and booked my place on the workshop of that name. The weeklong workshop seemed to expand into Findhorn being my life purpose. Nearly a year later, I live and work here, having recently joined the Living Education Apprentice Programme.

I stayed connected with the Gathering and helped create the website to reflect its rich history and purpose. With my living at Findhorn, Ralph’s connection with the community and the 50th Birthday approaching, the Foundation seemed to be the natural host for 2012. A conversation with Stan Stanfield, long term resident at Cluny Hill College and friend of Ralph’s from their time working together in Cluny Maintenance, led to this falling into place.

Hence this year I felt blessed to be representing Findhorn in the role of coordinator for the Gathering in 2012 while attending this year’s Gathering at Harbin Hot Springs, and to feel the connection with other centres through the Network of Light, the joyful atmosphere of friendship and love radiating out in service to the world.

For more details please view the International Holistic Centers’ Gathering website.

After a few hours he ended the night with the words, “If we know anything about the path at all, it’s only because someone has walked before us and out of compassion left some footprints for us to follow.”

Pilgrims Ancient and Modern

Modern day pilgrims along the Camino today follow an ancient path undertaken by pilgrims many centuries before and first recorded in the 12^th century manuscript the Codex Calixtinus, also known as the Liber Sancti Jacobi or the Book of Saint James.

A compilation of texts associated with the legend of St. James, the Codex Calixtinus is organised into five volumes and the earliest known edition is held in the archives of the Cathedral of Santiago.

The Pilgrims Guide

Book V, called A Guide for the Traveller and known as The Pilgrims Guide, describes the French route of the Way of St. James and contains practical and spiritual advice for the early pilgrim. It stands as an invaluable source of information about the journeys undertaken centuries ago – places, people, customs and traditions of the Camino.

One of the earliest known travel books, it is believed to have been written by several different authors and compiled into a single volume by the French scholar, Aymerica Picaud. The first description of the Way of St James, it forms the basis of all modern day guides to the pilgrimage route across Spain.

Places of Pilgrimage

Places of pilgrimage exist around the world, throughout cultures and religions, from Europe to India and beyond where the sacred and the profane meet, embedded in deep belief. One place, The Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem, is spiritually significant within three religions – Islam, Judaism and Christianity.

Christians might pilgrimage to Jerusalem, the place of Jesus’ resurrection; Buddhists to Bodhgaya, the place of Buddha’s enlightenment; Muslims to Mecca, linked to both the prophet Muhammad and Abraham; Hindus to Benares, the sacred city on the banks of the River Ganges, founded, according to legend, by the Hindu deity Lord Shiva.

Pilgrimage as Metaphor

The Pilgrimage Museum in Santiago de Compostela explores the idea of pilgrimage as a universal phenomenon and explains, ‘to speak of a pilgrimage there must be a site, a journey, that entails some sacrifice and physical effort and finally a sacred aim.’

The journey, a metaphor of life on earth, has been explored throughout the centuries in literary and artistic works, ‘A personal transformation begins that is visible in a series of rites that culminate in a moment of arrival and re-birth into a new person.’

Wisdom from the 1^st to the 21^st Century

The Tabula Cebetis, a moral dialogue attributed to the philosopher Cebes in the 1^st century, presents human life as a pilgrimage on earth that moves through three stages. From birth, constant choices are faced that can lead to joy or suffering and through a process of purification eventually lead to a temple symbolising wisdom and knowledge.

In the 20^th century Joseph Campbell interpreted pilgrimage as ‘The Hero’s Journey’ through his study of comparative mythology and comparative religion. Campbell believed that all paths lead to the same fundamental truth, through a personal journey of self-discovery, summarized in three stages; departure – initiation – return.

The Pilgrimage Museum explains, ‘the notion of pilgrimage is used allegorically in all cultures to express similarities between the individual physical journey that takes them to a holy site and the spiritual journey that the same individual can travel during their lifetime.’

A multitude of published books, online e-books, forums and blogs exist in the 21^st century, sharing the experience of travel and knowledge of the journey. Today the World Wide Web links travellers and pilgrims around the world and creates an unparalleled opportunity to learn from each other, share the path and leave a record for the generations to come about life itself as a pilgrimage.

My feet had been hot and throbbing the night before, jerking up in the air of their own accord like a jumping jack. I tried using pressure points to soothe the pain and resorted to nurofen instead.

A Change of Plan

Alex, the Spanish pilgrim I’d met yesterday, had slept in a bunk near mine and looked at my feet as I was getting ready that morning. He gave me a bandage and said, “That’s bad, you need to go to the pharmacy.” My left heel was a mass of weeping skin that needed dressing and protection and made it difficult to put my boots on.

I’d thought my boots were ok for the walk and didn’t know whether to continue with the walk that day. I really wanted to reach Santiago and felt deep in my soul I could do it, it was important that I reached my goal. I wasn’t exactly sure why, I just couldn’t give up the symbolism of the pilgrimage.

The day before I’d walked for six hours and Milo had covered the same distance in three! My natural walking speed had been humbled to a slower pace. I struggled to find the deeper meaning in this and pondered the words of the American mythologist, Joseph Campbell;

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we have planned
So as to have the life that is waiting for us
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.”

Advice from the Farmacia

I was all packed and ready to hit the road early but decided to ask the pharmacist for advice first. I wanted to keep going and didn’t know how quickly my feet would heal if I stopped anyway. I was determined not to be one of the pilgrims who had to pull out.

I entered the farmacia and asked the lady hopefully, “Habla usted inglés?”
She shook her head, called her companion to help and I explained my probably familiar predicament.
She listened attentively and then asked, “Where did you begin walking?”
“St. Jean,” I replied.
“Ah, That’s a lot of climbing.”
I nodded in agreement as I looked through the extra first aid items she recommended.
“When you walk downhill the skin rubs on the boot,” she explained. “It will heal in a few days.”
I felt reassured and thanked her for the advice as I made my purchase, stepping back into the streets of Pamplona with renewed optimism. I would reach Santiago!

Music and Light

I sat on the steps of the cathedral, feeling much brighter and heard the sound of the organ playing inside. I felt drawn to the music and sat on a wooden pew at the back.

Although I hadn’t been in a church for a long time it somehow felt safe and almost familiar. A few older people sat in the front rows. The cathedral was lit warmly with enormous chandeliers lowered from the high ceiling. The vast space filled with song during the short weekday service and tears of emotion streamed down my face.

The red and blue stained glass windows were vivid in colour and I gazed on the morning light streaming through brightly. As I got up to leave I decided to light a candle. One euro for a single light bulb representing a traditional candle, lined up in rows, a modern day version of an ancient ritual.

An elderly gentleman indicated he was locking the door and I nodded, “Si.” Unsure of the next words he spoke, I looked at him quizzically. He made a stamp-like motion and I understood that to mean the credential, the pilgrim’s passport for the walk. He led me into a small side room where an old lady stamped my passport and offered me a holy card with a simple blessing. I tucked it carefully inside my guide book.

The Hemingway Connection

I decided to stay in Pamplona for the day and changed out of my rigid boots into softer shoes that gave my feet instant relief. Realising that I didn’t need to keep to the schedule in the guidebook gave me a great sense of freedom and I surrendered to the unexpected delay. It felt good to rest and I felt blessed to be in Pamplona with time to explore instead of continuing my walk through the city with barely a glance. There is so much history and culture to experience throughout Spain, it hadn’t occured to me stop so early on in the walk. There is definitely a greater intelligence in play than mine!

I traced the route of the Running of the Bulls, Encierro, which takes place during the San Fermin Festival each July. At one stage along the narrow, cobbled streets of the city it overlaps with the route of the Camino. Ernest Hemingway, the American writer, made the festival famous through his book, “The Sun also Rises” and I sat quietly in the Café Iruna where a life sized statue of Hemingway props up the bar. I wrote notes in my little moleskine, ‘the legendary notebook of Hemingway and Chatwin’ and enjoyed a few plates of tapas and a glass of rioja.

Topography

Nearby, in the Information Centre on the Plaza del San Francisco there is a topographical map of Navarre displayed on the wall, which shows the peaks of the Pyrenees and the route of the Camino.

I wanted to reach up and trace my finger along the contours of Roncesvalles through to Zubiri, Larrosoana and Pamplona, the way I watched my father’s elderly aunt gently trace her finger across lines of Braille as a child, gaining her understanding of the world through touch rather than sight. It gave me a new appreciation of the route so far and I felt gentle and tender within myself.

On Reflection

There is a catholic aspect to the pilgrimage of course yet it transcends that, just as perhaps the ritual transcends the church service. The Camino is so much more than a long walk. It still feels beyond words. Is it the power of belief in something greater than myself? It felt too early for me to understand the significance, yet I could feel it more deeply than any other journey I’d undertaken.

The cathedral was simply a beautiful place of stillness that allowed me to connect more deeply with myself. I was in Spain, walking the Camino, and I felt determined to to be fully present for the whole experience. Nature, for me, provides an even greater place of stillness and today living in Findhorn there are constant reminders living within a spiritual community that the inner place of peace and stillness is ever accessible. Sometimes it’s just as simple as letting go and surrendering to what is.

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The third day was a shorter stage of just 15 km according to my guide book. I estimated that would take me about five hours, walking an average pace of 3km an hour. There were a few ascents, only 300 metres or so, which seemed like a breeze after day one.

I’d gone to bed the night before about 9:15pm and hours later lay awake wondering, ‘What on earth is the secret to falling asleep?’ After so much physical exertion I thought I’d fall asleep easily. Instead I lay wide awake, reassuring myself, ‘OK, I may not be asleep but I’m still resting my body’ as I listened to the sound of snoring in the mixed dorm shared with five other pilgrims.

I thought the best thing I could do was make the most of the healing time and let the air dry the broken skin on my heels. It was too hot to be inside the silk sheet and I just had the sleeping bag wrapped around me a little. I appreciated the fresh sheets and pillowcase on the bed, the last few nights it had just been a row of plain mattresses in the dorms.

The simple things in life became more noticeable when much had been stripped away to leave the bare essentials. I felt happy with a refreshing shower at the end of the day, (preferably warm otherwise it was very quick), something to eat and a safe place to rest.

Milo, the polish pilgrim in the room, slept in the top bunk of the bed positioned at a right angle to mine. Sometimes our feet touched accidentally during the night and I woke up after finally falling asleep!

Early Mornings

The night before, Gaetano, the lovely Italian gentleman, had looked at my feet and shook his head before going to bed at 7pm. It had been a long day and I hadn’t even gone out for dinner by then. I found it amazing that he could go to sleep so early. He said he was an early bird and I guessed he’d be up at first light. The next morning I awoke to the sounds of him rustling around in the bunk below me.

I checked my feet when I got up and counted four blisters, the two on my heels of more concern than the others. I placed the second skin plasters carefully over the raw skin and then Gaetano came back into the room and said, “Ah finally, you’re up!” even though it was only 7am, early for me!

A Little Help From My Friends

Gaetano held something aloft that looked like the long hair from the tail of a horse and I looked at it, a little confused. “I’ve heard it helps blisters,” he explained, “I’m glad I’m not the one that needs to try it!” He pulled it apart, handed me half and said, “Just place it inside your shoes and around your heels.” I felt touched by his kindness, delaying his own start to the day to make sure I was ok.

Milo had something else that seemed to be a liquid version of a second skin and had a gel like consistency. All these new things I hadn’t heard about and I thought I was well prepared! We both rubbed gel around our feet before tying up our laces. With the horsehair in my boots I had padding for protection around the tender areas of my feet and the gel provided lubrication to avoid further friction that could lead to more blisters.

It took me a while to get ready with all the extra foot care required. Finally I was ready for the walk, it was 8am and the hospitalero looking after the hostel encouraged us to the door. I realised we were the last to leave and that departure times were quite strict! Milo, soon walking at a faster pace, went on ahead of me.

My Own Pace

I’d set aside five weeks to reach Santiago de Compostella and had a clear intention to walk the whole way and go at my own pace. Before the trip it was hard to estimate how long the walk would take and from research five weeks seemed feasible. I planned to take the walk day by day and knew I could book a later flight back to Australia if necessary. I was grateful that I had a flexible schedule with my freelance work. I could extend by a few more weeks and still be back in time for my commitment at the yoga school, to coordinate their next yoga and meditation retreat in Byron Bay.

The Wisdom of Listening

I’d heard stories of pilgrims pushing themselves and crying when they needed to pull out of the walk because of pain or injury. I felt that a ‘true’ pilgrimage was to walk every step of the way to Santiago de Compostella, without using any form of transport and knew I needed to look after myself to get there. I had to listen to my body and respond wisely, to practice ahimsa, the yogic concept of non-violence. I’d got myself into emotionally painful situations in the past by not listening and paying attention. How many times in life have I heard the inner voice and yet overlooked the message?

During the Camino I needed to listen to and trust my intuitive wisdom, my inner compass. Here in the Findhorn Foundation, inner listening is a fundamental aspect of living a spiritual life and every day before every task or meeting there is the practice of attunement, to connect with ourselves, to each other, to the spirit of the universe. The simple practice of becoming present and listening to the still small voice within helps create a greater flow in life and my lessons from the Camino continue in everyday life here.

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